Social Media is More Social Than Media

Some people push back on the latest thing because they don't like new things. It doesn't matter if the new thing is a cell phone or an automobile or any other proven technology: If it's new, it's eww :-(. These value routine over novelty.

All people engage with Dunbar's number (150 person capacity in your network) differently as they get older.

The reason why social media is so popular with students is that they have:

• the highest need for social connection (while in college)
• the most disposable time
• and the lowest committed slots in their Dunbar relationship capacity.

As we get older, we commit to certain people to be in our relational bandwidth (e.g. spouse, kids, friends, colleagues). This lowers the number of open slots in our Dunbar capacity (150 people).

Also, this higher level of commitment to certain people means more time spent with these people and therefore less disposable time spent on "new" things.

Also, this investment in relationship with some means less time for "new" relations.

Because of this, regardless of a person's views on social media or technology, the older we get the less inclined we are to anything that will connect us with "new" people to add to our personal social network.

So why am I such a big fan of social media? Because it enhances the network of relationships I ALREADY HAVE. This is usually what causes people to embrace new technology; it enhances their connection with those already in their Dunbar network.
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So, every person (practically) has a cell phone. Why? Because it allows us to connect with everyone we are ALREADY committed to. Parents of teenagers are often more savvy with texting than people 25-35 because they use texting to connect with their kids.

This example of an "older" generation embracing a new technology illustrates the principle: social media is relevant to our current social network needs.

Since the character and needs of our current social network change over time, the relevance and usefulness of various social media tools will change as well.

People will embrace social media when they see how it will help them be better parents, spouses, friends, servants and professionals.

So I try to figure out how to help people envision how social media will enhance their current relationships and major on that when talking about social media.

Backward Students

How awesome is this:

The Instant

Todd Stocker's Weblog: "When the impact happened, we believe that she was texting (big surprise) because on her phone was a last, unfinished text to her friend Wes that simply read “Tomo…” She never saw the truck. She never heard the hit. The speed and power of the truck hitting the car at 55+ mph snapped her into eternity. The word that comes to mind is Instant. As quickly as you blink, as suddenly as you glance, Makenzie was looking at her cell and then looking at her Savior.

It all makes real the verse that says, “…we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye…” (1 Corinthians 15:51). Makenzie is alive with Jesus and we cant wait to see her again."

Todd is my friend. His blog is bracing in it's honesty about the death of his daughter.

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Gen CCC

Based on this article, Campus Crusade is a great place for young people to work.

Carole Ann Willingham

I've spent the last few days in Weatherford, TX to honor the life and legacy of this amazing woman. Many people who are famous, are not great. Many people who are great, are not famous.

Weatherford Democrat - Legacy: "Carole Ann Willingham, 62, surrounded by her loving sons and husband, passed away peacefully at her home in Weatherford Monday evening, June 8, 2009. A courageous fighter, a gifted and caring friend, an amazing mother and wife, Carole Ann embodied the compassion, joy and Christian values of our Lord and Savior throughout her life. Family and friends alike cherish the memory of her smile, the warmth of her hugs and the grace and courage of her trip back Home. Open up the Pearly Gates St. Peter, you have a good one on the way. Carole was born March 5, 1947 in Fort Worth, Texas. A lifelong area resident, Carole graduated from Weatherford High School in 1965. While attending college at Howard Payne University in Brownwood, Carole met her future husband before graduating in 1969. Ralph and Carole Willingham were wed May 25, 1968 and loved each other through rich times and poor times, in good times and bad, through sickness and health for 41 years. Through her years in Weatherford, Carole was an active member of the Parker County Teachers Association, served as a Sunday school teacher and for years sang in the church choir. Carole recently retired from the Parker County Co-Op Educational Services where she worked for more than 23 years and made a lasting impact on everyone she worked with. Carole remained active after retirement, keeping busy with her beloved grandchildren, serving the church, Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers and participating in the ministry of the North Side Baptist Church Cancer Care Support Group. Carole cherished her time visiting with friends and family and frequenting the matinee's with the love of her life on Saturday afternoons. Carole is preceded in death by her parents, Walter and Georgia Teague Poulter; and her stepmother, Lola Poulter, all from Weatherford. Carole is survived by her one and only husband, Ralph Willingham of Weatherford; eldest son, Major Paul Willingham USAF of Goodyear, Ariz. and Scott Willingham of Weatherford. She also leaves behind daughters-in-law, Janna Willingham of Goodyear, Ariz., and Stephanie Willingham of Weatherford, Texas. Carole's precious grandchildren include, Macyn Grace, Luke, Tucker and Mia Ann. Carole also precedes her sister, Dru Hogue, and brother-in-law, Glenn Hogue of Benbrook, Texas.Along with her loyal and supportive husband, Ralph, and her proud sons, Paul and Scott, Carole's memory will be held near the hearts of her countless friends and admirers, loving family and church, as well as her precious, cherished grandchildren. Those of us who know her best take comfort knowing that she now may rest. Matthew 25:21 And the Master replied "Well done my good and faithful servant!" Visitation will be 6 to 8 p.m. Wednesday, June 10, at Galbreaith-Pickard Funeral Chapel. Funeral service will be held at 10 a.m. Thursday, June 11, at North Side Baptist Church located at 901 N. Main St., Weatherford, TX 76086.Interment in Memory Gardens Cemetery.In lieu of flowers, the family request memorials be sent to North Side Baptist Church, attention Cancer Care Support Group.Galbreaith-Pickard Funeral Chapel913 N. Elm, Weatherford, TX 76086(817) 594-2747"

My favorite part of this obituary is the phrase "one and only husband". Ralph and Carole loved each other well with a covenant faithfulness that is a picture of how Christ loves his church.

This will give you an idea of Carole's courage:

Weatherford Democrat - Local survivor gets cancer courage award: "For the past seven years, Carole Willingham has battled inflammatory breast cancer, a rare and aggressive disease. Her gracious nature and willingness to pursue different treatment regimens qualified her for the Faces of Courage Award."

I'm honored to know the Willingham family.

College Students and Social Media

True or False?

College students are at the forefront of social media because of the combination of their disconnection from childhood relationships, the need for new community, social freedom, and large amounts of free time.

Are We in a Narcissism Epidemic? No, we're in an idolatry epidemic.

Are We in a Narcissism Epidemic? | Newsweek Culture | Newsweek.com: "But no matter how you were raised, the handiest cure for narcissism used to be life. Whether through fate, circumstances or moral imperative, our culture kept hubris in check. Now, we encourage it. Pastors preach of a Jesus that wants us to be rich."

This is from an article on a new book by Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell called "The Narcissism Epidemic," released last week.

I haven't read the book but the article makes no mention of God or religion save the quotation above. So, let me say that "the handiest cure for narcissism used to be" religion. Or more specifically Monotheism. "God is God and you are not" is a handy cure for narcissism.

The Newsweek article submits this as evidence of our culture encouraging narcissism: "Pastors preach of a Jesus who wants us to be rich."

Hmm. Religious leaders have always done this since Jesus walked dusty streets of Jerusalem. Most of Jesus' first hearers thought he would make them all rich and prosperous by becoming King and throwing out the wicked Romans. So, there was narcissism in the Jesus' day. Fascinating. One of Jesus' closest friends and disciples, Simon Peter, tried to tell Jesus to stop talking about giving his life for others and Jesus told him to put a cork in it (here and here). It's hard to stay a narcissist when you follow Jesus.

The article has no mention of pastors who preach that when you stop worshiping the Triune God you necessarily begin to worship an idol and that all idolatry is a form of self-worship. You can find those pastors here, here and here. Why no mention of these? It's not like these churches are in a corner somewhere either. In fact I think Tim Keller has been featured in Newsweek.

So why not mention pastors of nationally prominent churches who attract young people by preaching against narcissism? As I mentioned here: "blogging (long form tweeting) fear, loathing, and high-handedness..." about X "...sells more books and blog ads than blogging about the balance between narcissism and self expression in general, which is as old as Job's laments."

If this generation is more narcissistic, it is because it is the least religious generation. But even as I write those words I suspect them as overstatement. Narcissism is the binary alternative to worship of the the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It always has been and always will. In this sense I am as big a narcissist as Simon Peter and Abraham. God help me.

What is a Revival?

The Reason for God by Tim Keller: "In an important history of the movement, David L. Chappell demonstrates that it was not a political but primarily a religious and spiritual movement... Chappell argues that black leaders were much more rooted in the Biblical understanding of the sinfulness of the human heart and in the denunciations of injustice that they read in the Hebrew prophets. Chappell also shows how it was the vibrant faith of rank-and-file African-Americans that empowered them to insist on justice despite the violent opposition to their demands. Thus Chappell says there is no way to understand what happened until you see the Civil Rights movement as a religious revival.

When evangelical Christians talk about revival we tend to go back to The Student Volunteer Movement or The Azusa Street Revival as the last revival in the United States.

Was the Civil Rights Movement a revival? Evangelicals tend to stress spiritual salvation over social and economic transformation. What do you think?